Should Have Thrown

“A sympathetic heroine, she finds, is almost as good as a friend of flesh and blood.” Truth.

53.12 the Crimson Petal and the White

 Waste. Of. Time.

I heard about the mini series based on this book so thought I would read it before watching, now I don’t even want to watch it, because this was a horrible book. Boring characters (He is a perfumer, seriously?  Of all the professions...), unoriginal plot (Victorian era wife who is dying of strange illness leaves a man who just needs some love), no development (When you finally get to the end – FINALLY!!! - everyone is still a jerk or dead). And the ending… He literally stopped writing. Honestly, it was a really poor excuse for an author who clearly didn’t know how to make anything meaningful out of this 900-page mess.

I knew early on I should give up on this one, but I never do that. I think I need to start. The reality is that I didn’t when I made this decision to never give up I read much less and now that I read more, and am more aware of what I like, I need to start giving up.  The one thing I took away from this book was the quote, and I love the quote, I just wish it had been true of this book.

Ripples

“I can feel a better version of me somewhere in there.” Truth. 

52.12 Dark Places

Little things make ripples, which then grow larger and larger, swallowing up more and more. Little things said, maybe misheard, suddenly believed because it is convenient. Ripples. A chance meeting or missed opportunity. Ripples. Some of the effects fade away, while others grow more and more out of proportion.

Dark Places tells a murder mystery backwards and forwards. We meet the players years after the fact, from the big outside rings of that original ripple, and we follow it back in seeing the whole story fall apart and come together. If you have read any works by Gillian Flynn, then you already know that no one can be trusted. Her characters are far too human for that. They are flawed, and hateful, and realistic in the darkest but simplest ways. Most of them are trying to escape who they really are and they fail magnificently. Libby’s growth throughout the book was very hopeful and I think she will be just fine. I love any book that can make me care so much.

However, this is a rough book. Sad and violent. Very violent. Full of head shakers and oh nos, but that is Flynn for you. Her books make you physically squirm and compulsively read in a perfect balance of agony and ecstasy.  They are certainly not for everyone, and I can’t say that they are even enjoyable to read, but I also can’t wait to pick up another. One thing you can count on for sure is that if you think you have the story all figured out, the truth is you know nothing.

Fallible Heroes

“I know you all work hard, but I am doubtful as to whether you think hard.”  Truth.

51.12 The Year of the Gadfly

 This book caught my attention via Twitter.  The author set up a “Novelade” stand in New York to self promote.  Buy the book and get free cookies – Brilliant!  I knew that if I walked by her I would buy the book, so instead of just thinking on it I went to my local store and picked it up.

Basically, this is a boarding school mystery, complete with secret societies, hidden pasts, and creepy basements long forgotten.  I think that A Secret History is still the best of the genre, and while I always go into these books thinking I will love them it seems that the older I get the less I like to revisit my own adolescent self as I read.  It is impossible for me not to compare my own experience, and with Gadfly I did it both as a teenager and as a teacher.  I loved seeing the passion Jonah had to make his students really think, and think for themselves, but all along he had to pretend that the part of him who had been so easily swayed as a teenager never existed. I liked the shifts between POV and time even though at times it became a bit confusing because the voices were not all that different.  The weaving of all the characters stories into one was done well but I never I bought that Iris was 14. The ending was a bit too much.  I do think there is truth in needing to get away from where you grow up to discover who you are or escape some of who you were, but I do not think that staying behind leaves you damaged.

What I liked best was the theme of heroes and whom we chose to look up to, be it teachers, siblings, or celebrities, it is never ourselves.  And because we see them as heroes we tend to focus on the aspects we want and ignore the other parts, just like we highlight what we think others like in ourselves while hiding some truths.  We pretend these people are perfect even though we know they can’t be, but why do we do that?  Does it make us work harder or try to be better, or does it just end up making us feel worse?

For My Mom

When people see my son they always say he looks exactly like his dad, and he does.  No one ever says he looks like me, and no one ever says I look like my parents. Is this one of natures weird things?  Do boys look like their dads for some hormonal response while girls are left to fill the in between? Anyway, on a recent trip home I found a picture of my mom that I had never seen before and for the first time all the genes fell in to place. 

First, she looks like me. Second, I look like Darren. Third, she is reading and holding baby me.  Holding a baby and reading may be the happiest I have ever been in my life, and she looks just as happy.  I don’t have many pictures of myself during that time because I was busy - you know – holding the baby and reading, but I did find one and when I put the pictures side by side I smile. *Stupid computer won't let me put them side by side, but you get the point.

We look so much alike, except she is clearly a much snappier dresser than my hobo self, and we look so happy.  My mom and me, as mothers.  It makes me feel all the feelings.  It is hard being a mother and it is hard being a daughter, but it is also marvelous.

After staring at the picture for a bit I delved straight into figuring out what book she was reading.  She was pretty sure her mother had given it to her and I found the cover in a matter of minutes thanks to the wonders of the interwebs. Amazon had a used copy for one penny – I mean, I know some of you think Amazon is the devil but ONE PENNY! – I ordered it, read it, and here is what I thought:

“I used to wonder how much of life was predestined.” Truth.

 

50.12 The House of a Thousand Candles

The book started out like Downton Abby meets Rebecca, with the shadowy house, a new owner who is also a stranger, the downstairs help gossiping and longing for the old days. It then turned into more of a romance with a tinge of mystery that all gets wrapped up nicely like a bow in the end. Much of the plot seemed to revolve around little tidbits of Chinese history and culture that the author was proud of sharing but there was also: adultery, consumption, spinal cord injuries, ancient Chinese relics, hidden rooms, hallucinations, and, of course, muuuuuurder. It was fun and escapist.  Quite perfect for so many reasons.  Then and now.

It reminded me of the other books my mother has given me when she knows that I simply need a safe place to fall. I guess her mother knew the same thing about her. We are both very lucky for that.  And now, so is my son.

A Labor of Like

“He strove to be different because he wasn’t. Her ambition was to fit in and she didn’t.” Truth for many.

49. 12 Still Midnight

This is a new series with a pretty standard female cop, Alex Morrow, trying to push against her all male coworkers while solving murders in cold and gloomy Scotland.  While it felt familiar, I really loved the slow burn here as well as the unraveling of her personal history.  I do think that if I hadn’t read it so quickly, (thank you Labor Day weekend at the grandparents!) I might have been put off by her because she behaves pretty reprehensibly. It is only as the story goes on that we find out why and I think it may have taken a bit too long to get there. Morrow reminded me a bit of Jane Tennyson in Prime Suspect, constantly fighting for respect and against her personal demons, but where Tennyson’s life is constantly getting worse and worse I liked seeing that most of Marrow’s relationships, while strained, remained hopeful.

My main issue was that the story alternates between Marrow’s POV and the criminals’, leaving very little of the mystery to puzzle out for the reader and that always makes things a bit less intriguing.  I also think its conclusion could have been done a bit better; the pieces kind of fell together rather than being deduced. I did go in knowing this was the first in a new series and in a lot of ways it is written as an introduction and thus felt a bit incomplete. I look forward to the next book and fleshing out the characters a bit more but if you were not planning to read on I think you might find the characters and story a bit flat.