True Life

“There are moments in your life when something’s taken from you, and once you’ve lost it you don’t get it back. What you were before is neither here nor there. You’re different now.” Truth.

31.12 Death of a Murderer

In my teens and twenties I was very interested in true crime, I read a lot of books about cases and have seen every episode of American Justice – I love that man’s voice.  While living in London, my history class took a Ripper walk through Whitechapel.  There is something so odd about doing things so drastic and horrifying and then living like they never happened.  Once I had my own child I couldn’t do it anymore, it is far too close to home now.  Anyway, I also used to watch a lot of British murder mysteries.  They are so compelling in their grittiness, and the true horrors of the of the crimes and the eventual destruction of the people trying to solve the cases.  No one ever comes out better than they were before.  I love Cracker, Prime Suspect, Wire in the Blood, Lynley, Moorse, Luther, Whitechapel, and when I need it to all be a bit lighter, Midsomer Murders.  I know I have seen the case of The Moors Murders somewhere along the way but for the life of me I can’t remember which show, but I can still hear someone screaming, “Myyyyyyra!”  It is one of those cases that is just too awful, one that makes it scary to be a mother, and it clearly has left behind ghosts.  

Death of a Murderer is about a police officer on a 12-hour graveyard shift whose job it is to watch over a body in the morgue.  Just sit there and make sure nothing happens, no big deal right? His wife wants him to call in sick because the body is that of Myra Hindley, although the book never uses her name.  If you are not familiar with The Moors Murders this book will not give you much information except to convey the deep hatred for this woman in England.  In fact, I think you probably need some sort of background knowledge about the case for the book to even make sense.  Myra and her boyfriend murdered children and during the trial she was absolutely despised for her lack of emotion, but the story here is about this man.  He spends the time thinking about his life, and his secrets.  Those secrets that all of us have about things we have done that we hope no one ever finds out about.  It is a very mild story but rings very true.  It is a hard day for him and he dwells on things that make him feel like his life just hasn’t panned out… Wouldn’t it just be better if… I wonder if I had gone here… If only I wasn’t stuck now… But then the day is over and you (us and him) start to remember what you love and live for, you make grand plans to celebrate the life you have and honor those around you, to take the time to enjoy what you are now and not think about the what ifs, but then inevitably the feelings of the low and the high fall away and life goes back to the status quo.

No matter the circumstances, I guess life for most really does go on.

Out of The Blue

“I tell myself it doesn’t matter. I don’t need to look like one of them.  I don’t need to belong.” I wish this were my Truth.

30.12 The Scorpio Races

A friend lent me this a few months ago, along with a stack of probably ten other books, so I was feeling the need to get some of those back to her and decided to pull one that I had no expectations for.  I had never heard of this book, or read the author’s other YA series, but I have certainly seen them around.

Quite honestly, I hated the first half.  The action built very slowly and it was easy to see where it was going.  It is a rewriting of a myth so I guess that is to be expected, but since I didn’t know this I found myself bored.  The setting was a bit disorienting because the myth develops slowly, and there are no geographical or time cues given making it hard to imagine where or when all of this is taking place.  We also have alternating points of view that are totally the same voice.  The title chapter indicates whose voice we are reading, and frankly without that we would have no idea.  So I started to kind of push my way though just to get it over with and suddenly I found myself very deeply entrenched in the story of this girl trying to help her family just by being her.  No magical creature or unaccounted for help, just her and the support of people who love her.  SO GREAT!  I read the last 300 pages in a day, and by the end was sobbing with both happiness and heartbreak.

This is a rough book though.  It is violent and sad.  The bad guys are bad; the good guys are good but rarely rewarded.  It is about people who love horses and you know how that goes.  We readers often end up loving animals much more than the humans and their pain feels much more intense. This is not a happily ever after story in the conventional sense, but I did find it hopeful.  It is a YA book, but I would say you would have to put it in the hands of a pretty mature reader who would stick to it thorough the slow going plot development and be able to handle the harsh realities as the story unfolds.  But in the end it was a pretty successful read for me, and I never thought that would happen.

A Lesson in Parenting

“Even awful people can be polite for a few minutes.” Truth.

29.12 The Family Fang

I am glad I read this just in time for Mother’s Day. These parents are fucked up. They believe in the importance of what they are doing, but they are fucked up. Their kids aren’t perfect but they end up being okay, giving hope to us all. Is there any mother out there who isn’t worried that they are going to screw up their kids?  I am. Daily. Just today I wondered if I was going to make my kid hate books by reading them so much. I worry about pushing him too far, not pushing enough.  What he is eating, what he isn’t eating.  I am far from perfect, and he will be the same, but compared to the Fangs I am amazing (Hence, the lesson!), because seriously, they are fucked up. I digress... back to the book.

I was in the mood for a quirky, fun read. What I got was certainly original and very well written, but the quirk wasn’t quite what I was expecting and the fun really wasn’t there at all. The Fang family are somewhat well known performance artists. At least the parents are, the kids are more like extras and set pieces being moved around and manipulated by their parents’ whims for the sake of art. I thought the art was more of the shock and awe variety; not trying to entertain as much as humiliate and create chaos. But we all see art differently and even within this family each person has a different opinion and reaction. I did love how the state of the current relationships were unraveled through seeing the past “creations” but I hated the end. I was hoping to see the parents and children come together as a family, but instead I ended up hating the parents. The book lost me entirely and made me feel sad for the whole family instead of feeling any sort of connection, and that was a disappointment, as often families are.

Christmas in February???

“We worry about our children until the day we die.”  Truth.

28.12 Portrait of a Spy

Gabriel Allon and all his partners in crime are like old friends. I see them once a year; some details of previous adventures are familiar while others you have completely forgotten. Some memories are sad and some happy. They are good folk, and this year I almost missed the party!

As I wrote last year, Silvia's new Allon books came out in July, usually a new hardback and a new paperback on the same day.  I always celebrate by buying the paperback and knowing there will be another waiting for me in a year. For some reason the last book came out in February and I had no idea!  I mean, what I like about old friends is that I can count on them to always be the same - I feel betrayed!  Well, that is overstating it a bit, but I do feel out of sorts reading Allon in May, and as a used book nonetheless!  Oddly, it also ended up not being a great read for me, and it took me almost a week to read when usually I read Allon in two days.  The other funny part is that because it came out at an odd time I was convinced I had read it before and almost didn’t buy it.  The summary on the back just felt so familiar…

Frankly, that was the sense I had the whole time reading this. It does feel done before, because it has been done before. I was hoping for something new but that just wasn’t the case.  It was still a good and tense read, but I didn’t feel for a moment like I didn’t know exactly what was coming next.  And in general I was right.  Maybe I have read too many of these…  Who am I kidding – can’t wait until next July!

Such Fun

"When one is promised sandwiches and there is nothing but watercress, well, one must simply take matters into one's own hands."  Truth.

27.12 Soulless

From the first page I knew this book was going to be fun. I mean, vampire slaying with a parasol - What? What!  This is the real Pride and Prejudice with Zombies - except in steampunk Victorian London with no zombies...  Anyway, hopefully you get my meaning. It is ridiculous, super fun!

This is categorized as a paranormal romance and it is safe to say that, paranormal or not, romances are not my thing. I just don't need to go there, but otherwise this was fun and funny. There are excessive descriptions of clothing and food, but I found the steampunk creations much more interesting than those in Boneshaker, the other only book from the genre that I have read.

Alexia is a pretty great character. She has a bit of a Cinderella thing going on, but you never sense that she couldn't take care of everything on her own. Lord Maccon is a beast of a man, literally, but I loved that he liked her for who she was. They didn't suddenly become different people, or make each other better, they just fit.

Here is my issue...  I seem to always have one... The mystery reveal was ridiculously obvious and kind of felt like it was tacked on.  It was frustrating to see these two otherwise whip smart characters kept in the dark so that the plot could be pushed along and filled in with more - literal! - bodice ripping. I guess I read the book more for the mystery aspect than the romance and I found it lacking. But have I  mentioned that it was a lot of fun?  Because that is important too.  This is far from a perfect book but sometimes a little fun is all anyone needs.

Apt Title

“Worst is the one who knows better but does nothing.” Truth.

26.12 Monsters of Men

This is the final book in the Chaos Walking trilogy and I whipped through it just like the others. I mean, 608 pages in three days! I know I am reading faster but goodness. After completing the trilogy, I wouldn’t hesitate to whole-heartedly recommend it.

Again, it starts exactly where the last book left off and there is almost zero rehashing of past events.  There is no way to read these books as stand alones.  In the first we had one POV, in the second two, and in the third three.  There are also now three sides to the war, and things don’t get much better.  War makes monsters out of men and we see it all, and understand it all as well.  Everyone thinks they are right, or have been the most wronged; everyone wants power or likes the way it feels. It is how we know war is, and yet it happens. Over and over. Here we are privy to all the sides, and so the reader remains divided and that is a wonderful gateway to some really great discussion. 

There are a few definite good guys, and a few clear bad guys but the majority are in between, as in life.  Todd is really an amazing protagonist because he is so stuck in between he shows us all sides of everything and how easy it is to flip flop and regret your actions, but also to get up and try again.  This book, like the second, is violent, and for me that is bothersome, but who am I kidding?  This is the world we live in, and maybe some people might learn how to do better from Todd.