A Day Without Rain

This winter has been very cold and wet, and that has been very hard to deal with.  I can't even remember the last time we had a day without any rain.  Until today...

A few days after learning a college friend tragically died in Afghanistan, and the day after learning the horrific news that another college friend lost his three year old son, the sun comes out.  There are no words...  Especially for someone like me who always has a hard time with words.  I never know what to say or how to say it.  I am better at doing things than saying thing. So I got up this morning and went to hike Spencer's Butte.  On the trail I picked up two rocks, one for Joe and one for Brody.

And as I climbed the trail and ran back down, slipping and sliding in the mud, I held those rocks tight and squeezed them hard, putting all of my energy and focus on nothing but them.  All my sadness and regret, and prayers for those left behind to deal with such fucked up realities.  All of my anger and questions. And when I reached the end of the trail I left them in the sunshine.  Rest well sweet boys.

After, I took myself to the only place I know where I can completely take my mind off things.  Smith Family Bookstore is a wonderful used bookstore in Eugene and I guess when I am surrounded by so many stories I am able to take my mind off of all the stories going on in my mind and truly get lost.  And that was all I wanted today, to get lost.